Meet the EPIC ‘Ohana Board Members: Arlynna Livingston
By Wilma Friesema
Becoming a social worker wasn’t on 20-year-old Arlynna Livingston’s career radar, but the birth of twins and the daunting task of self-financing a Ph.D. in psychology gave her the push she needed to look into career alternatives. Social work, it turned out, was the perfect fit. Arlynna discovered that not only do social workers help people navigate through great suffering, they help to change institutional systems so healing happens on both a personal and societal level. As someone devoted to reducing suffering, Arlynna loved the holistic approach of social work. Early on she knew she had found her professional home.
Throughout her career, Arlynna has been the catalyst for enormous change on both personal and systemic levels. Her first job in Hawai`i was with the Lili'uokalani Trust where she became steeped in Hawaiian cultural values and the practice of Ho'oponopono, which greatly influenced her work with families. While in graduate school, Arlynna completed a practicum at the Neighborhood Justice Center where she learned the deep listening skills of mediation. From both those experiences she came to see the value of truly listening, without judgement, to what people felt and needed. It became clear to her that it was when people felt genuinely heard and understood change and healing happened. Likewise, she found, even family members who were beaten down and marginalized would contribute their own creative solutions when they were met with sincere engagement and respect. For Arlynna, deep listening was a fundamental tool for empowerment and healing.
When, in 1996, Susan Chandler, the Director of the Department of Human Services, asked Arlynna to develop a model of Family Group Decision Making (FGDM), Arlynna jumped at the opportunity. It hit every button of inspiration and desire she had. Not only would Hawai'i’s model help empower families caught up in CWS, it could help change the system itself. She envisioned a process which would incorporate deep listening into foster care practices, the legal system, and how other stakeholders provided their services. It would be a chance to make a real difference in the lives of families involved with CWS, the majority of whom were native Hawaiian. It could also help families whose voices were rarely heard, even though it was their lives and families that were being so deeply impacted.
As she began the process of conceptualizing and developing 'Ohana Conferencing, Arlynna relied heavily on a model developed by the Maori of New Zealand, combined with fundamental mediation practices and a family strength engagement model developed out of Oregon. The demonstration project that resulted was funded through a grant from the Edna McConnell Clark Foundation, with the initial focus on the Wai'anae Coast of O'ahu.
Launching Hawai'i’s FGDM model, `Ohana Conferences, wasn’t easy. At that time, the prevailing social work culture promoted the view of social workers rescuing children from harmful parents without thought of the on-going trauma that separation might cause. Engagement with immediate and extended family was limited, and involving family members in problem solving was an almost unheard of practice. Parents were told they had to change, but were rarely asked about their existing strengths and what they personally might need to help them make those changes. The conversation was heavily slanted in a top-down direction. The `Ohana Conferencing model that Arlynna created set out to change that dynamic from the very start.
Arlynna was adamant that meetings were held in a neutral location within the communities where the families lived. Professional stakeholders and extended family would be brought together to have an honest conversation. Arlynna created a conference agenda which began with the family choosing how they wanted to open the meeting. This conveyed the message that this was the family’s meeting. The opening was followed by everyone sharing their hopes and dreams for the children. This focus on the children became the foundational principle for 'Ohana Conferencing, and maintaining that focus throughout the conference became critical to the model’s success. Next, everyone identified the family’s strengths. All of this was done before tackling the pressing issues at hand. By having a different starting point, one where people slowed down and heard each other, a whole new tone was set for the rest of the meeting. As people shared from their hearts, they saw each other’s hearts, and the conversation deepened and became more authentic. More solutions were arrived at together, and a spirit of collaboration was born.
As with all change, getting buy-in for this new approach from social workers and community members was challenging. However, seeing the families’ anger and distrust transform into open hearted gratitude kept Arlynna going. Time and again, she saw that the very act of being heard in an `Ohana Conference was giving families a renewed sense of power and hope.
While Arlynna worked on implementing and refining the model, her co-founder and EPIC’s current Executive Director, Laurie Tochiki, helped integrate changes within the Family Court’s processes so that agreements reached by families would be honored by the courts and CWS. Together, along with their very engaged and supportive board members, Arlynna and Laurie planted the seeds of change that would blossom into EPIC’s multiple programs that continue to effectively serve our families and youth today.
Looking back, Arlynna feels that creating and growing `Ohana Conferencing and EPIC has been one of the greatest gifts she’s ever been given. She served for 15 years as the Executive Director of EPIC, and has been serving on the board for the past 9 years. She sees the deep-seated values that guide and inform EPIC’s work as its main strength. Those values are rooted in Arlynna’s original values of respect, compassion, non-judgment, deep listening, and empowering the disempowered to participate in finding their own solutions. Family voice and choice, after all, is at the heart of all that EPIC does.
As a current board member, Arlynna is proud of all EPIC’s programs, their integrated approach to providing positive energy and support to families and youth in care, and the continuing innovations and creativity of EPIC’s staff. She’s also proud of the synergy EPIC has with CWS and how, through the process of deep listening to all sides, EPIC has helped transform CWS practices. That `Ohana Conferencing is now a standard tool used to engage families is deeply gratifying, and is really the fulfillment of what she had hoped for and envisioned all those many years ago.
It is with deep gratitude that we honor Arlynna in this month’s newsletter. While Arlynna feels EPIC has been a gift to her, all of us at EPIC and the greater CWS community, are so appreciative of the gift that Arlynna has been to us. She has truly saved lives and changed the CWS system in deep and lasting ways. Mahalo Arlynna for your vision, creativity, hard work, and leadership. You have reduced suffering, and have helped to make our families and community stronger.
